On a cold and weary night, Donald was spotted at the balcony, drenched in his tears as usual, victimised by his own thoughts. The stench of liquor pervaded the atmosphere, leaving Kate disappointed at his religious sorry state. This wasn’t the first time Bella jilted him for someone else but then kept falling back to him as a spare resolve. For the forth time, the world seemed to be caving in on him in a subtle way. All of a sudden, time seemed to have been paused and dead silence beclouded the gruesome atmosphere. “it’s high time you got back on your feet and moved on”, Kate said, “you are worth more than an onion”……..
There are times when life seems to have hit us below the belt or left deep scars in our hearts that might seem impossible to heal. These wounds could deepen or heal depending on the attitude of the victimized. They could either make us have a pessimistic attitude towards life or muster the courage to defeat the victimised mentality and get us back on our feet again, better than before. You most often have heard the saying, “so long as there is life, there is hope”. The strongest people you see today are often products of brutal victimization in the past, who survived the fall and pressed on with the deep wounds till time healed them. In life, the sad fact is that “Hurt, heartbreak, pain, sufferings” are universal occurrences but staying victimized is a choice. Emotional intelligence is your ability to be in total control of every of your emotions and wield the right energies to get right back on track.
Victimization often occurs through two factors, the external and internal factors. External factors are often beyond our control, they take us by surprise. These external factors could be family crisis, heartbreaks, betrayal. Etc, while internal factors could be our personal weaknesses, flaws or carelessness that lead to our fall. However, there’s always an opportunity to bounce back stronger!
How to pick yourself up from a fall
A few steps that help us rise from a fall are:
1. Acknowledge the fall:
Most people find it difficult coming to terms with the fact that they’ve fallen. They still dwell in the “shock” of the fall that they find it too dramatic to be true. This leaves them entrapped in their thoughts and makes it difficult to get right back. One thing is certain, you’re not the only one who has failed at something or fallen at some point, it’s universal. For you to get back on track, you must acknowledge the fall, understand the militating factors that led to it so as to be on the alert next time.
2. Don’t brood, rather laugh and mock your falls:
Having acknowledged your falls. It’s time to add a little humour! Rather than give in to the feeling of depression and constantly being victimized by your thoughts, learn to laugh at your self and mock the fact that you’ve fallen. While this may seem insane, laughter has always proved itself to be the best medicine in cases like this, time and time again.
3. Have the right attitude:
The mere fact that the fall didn’t take your breath away, is a sign that life has presented you another chance to have a fresh start. See each fall as an opportunity to explore your innermost potentials and become a better you. Be an optimism fanatic! Believe in a better tomorrow. Having the right attitude to a large extent determines how much of a come back you would get, it could be partial or a total bounce back!
4. Forgive yourself, create new records, realities and experiences:
You may not have the ability to turn back the hands of time or correct bad records or falls but you can certainly create better records and realities for your self. First, you must forgive yourself if you’ve been victimized by the consequences of your actions or mistakes. Always remember that “hurt, pain and falls are universal affairs but being constantly victimized by them is a choice”. Happiness is a deliberate journey!
5. Rebrand your life, reshape your style:
Seek out new ways of inspiration, try something new you’ve never been used to. Explore new realities, make new mistakes and learn from them, damn the old ones. Develop a new habit. Be the unusual version of You the Old You would be proud of.
6. Read inspirational articles/books/stories:
Reading inspirational articles like this one, consciously builds a sense of enlightenment in you. The best propeller of freedom is Knowledge. Connect to people who successfully got up from a fall or similar falls by reading their success stories and how they sprung up again. Knowledge sets you free from the hurt, pain, shame and teaches you how to make a successful comeback.
7. Get a mentor, guidance counselor or life coach:
While most people often overlook this, connecting to a mentor is about the surest way to not only get back on your feet again, but become stronger and better than before. A mentor makes you accountable for certain goals and tasks you ought to accomplish to get better. A mentor often asks the questions “howfar? How was your reaction to it? Have you done it?, and often empathizes with you in order to know how best to help you find your self again.
8. Stay disciplined, committed and consistent:
Picking yourself up from a fall could be tiring at times. However, your chances to get right back relies on your commitment and consistency. Keep drawing energy from as many power surges as possible. Consistency is simply commitment to purpose. The best way to stay committed and consistent is by setting up goals to be strictly adhered to.
9. Set up Goals:
Set up short term and long term goals. Short term goals are goals that gear you towards achieving your long term goals. You can read more about setting goals on ” How to sell yourself as a brand”.
10. Reward yourself for goals achieved:
Rewarding yourself for goals met is a conscious way of getting over the hurt. You’ll suddenly feel lighter, happier and like a burden has been lifted off your shoulders. Rewarding yourself makes you feel like a success which in turn, fosters growth and a strong come back.
11. Hang out with real friends or make new ones:
Hanging out has a way of making you forget the pain and the hurt. Go for picnics, jollyrides, or look for a good pleasure spot where you can truly go off your routine. This not only reduces stress, but reduces depression and brooding as well. Making new friends on the other hand, could inspire a new kind of energy you never experienced before. This is because each human has a kind of atmosphere he/she exudes, different from others and could tell a great deal when they encounter others. Make friends with optimists, you wouldn’t regret it.
12. Trust in God:
Denying the existence of God is like denying the existence of the air we breathe. In reality, He is the best motivator and guide to get you back on your feet again because he holds your life’s manual. No one knows how best to fix a machine than its inventor. Commit your ways before him and let him be your guide.(JUMIA Giveaways up to 44% discount off!)Buy clothes, accessories, gadgets, phones and lots more at affordable rates!
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