Possible reasons your relationship doesn’t work.

“The Heart is gullible, it takes only the brain to protect it!”.

Did you know?

The first few months you’ve met your “crush” or “love”, you subconsciously turn an amazing actor/actress: your life automatically begins to play out like an Indian movie scene. You suddenly become the best mathematician, owing to the fact that your actions become calculated in his/her presence. Your words and countenance  begin to be poetic all of a sudden.  It even becomes worse when you jump into the waters without observing the wind!

 At this point,
the part of the brain meant for reasoning seems to be locked  in a small box and the key probably thrown away! You barely see the glaring faults or rather choose to turn a blind eye! You keep basking in the euphoria of the butterflies you feel in your stomach, you feel like a new born baby! You start acting the “love is blind scene”.
Yes, these feelings are natural but after them what next?

*The veil is torn! You can see crystal clear, you ask yourself, “was my brain on rehab? “, you feel frustrated and so on!

The Truth!

If it’s too perfect, it’s not Love but an illusion! Pull the veil till it falls off! Most of the things we see on TV aren’t obtainable in reality, they’re merely for the luxury of entertainment!
Yes, it’s a lovely feeling to fall in love but while falling with your ♥ heart, keep sanity alive! Do not fall with your brain, it should remain standing!

3 Things to watch out for before boarding the Love train!

*Purpose:

“Successfully settling on a purpose requires defining, redefining, and continually clarifying your goal,” says Mitchell Ivers.

It is often said that a relationship without “trust” is unrealistic and not worth the time. Of course, such truism cannot not be countered. However, beyond “trust”, a healthy relationship is built on purpose. Without purpose, there is no skeletal frame or structure on which trust can stand. A lady was asked why she loved and trusted her fiancé so much and she replied;

“He’s interested in my growth and well being as much as i am, Randolph gives me a million reasons to dream more”.

Wow! Is there a better reason for entering a relationship than to literally water the dreams of the other party? When purpose is defined, trust is intensified! Commitment to purpose in a relationship fosters building of trust faster than ever. Without purpose, ” trust” is a mere facade likely to fade with the sands of time. Relationships are sweeter when purpose is defined as it gives you more reasons to stay true to your feelings. 

*Compatibility:

In most relationship cases, this is often overlooked. Ever hung out with a friend(s) at a coffee shop only to be bathed with one complain upon another, about how they’ve been through one tussle or many more with the other party? Here is the answer, the capital letter C, “Compatibility”. You hear them make such statements like, “S(he) doesn’t get me”. This often happens when there was never a common ground spotted before dating; probably dated out of mere emotional impulse. Sadly, this happens often when the parties involved probably have an “ancient” mindset, they feel they don’t have to be “compatible”, after all, ” there’s room for that after we get kicking”. As a counter to that, suffix it to say that, “compatibility” isn’t a “post dating thing” but a pre-dating necessity! Compatibility gives a trillion and twenty reasons to keep fighting for the life of a relationship in the phase of challenging situations and life tumults. You ask yourself, “If I give up now, would I find another like her? Yes, she’s got “flaws” but can I cope with another?”. However, while there is no general yardstick to measure the degree of compatibility needed in a successful relationship, 100% compatibility is barely or at worst, impossible, but there MUST BE some level of compatibility dependent on the taste of the seeker unless of course, the God factor has other plans that one’s myopic sight can’t access.

*Flaws:

Yes, it’s often said that “love covers a lot of flaws”. However, the intensity of love varies among individuals and there’s certainly a degree of flaws every human can take. Having established this truism, rather than hide your flaws, be natural, be true to yourself. They should see your flaws and “consciously” love you with it so it doesn’t become an issue later! It is noteworthy that the more you’re loved with your flaws, the easier it is to let go of those flaws! On your part, consciously notice the flaws in order to know if you can cope with it or not!

*Your heart is too precious to gamble with!
Finally, Love with your heart but reason with your brain!
*Before you jump into that relationship, take your time to analyse the “situation”.
*Be reasonably intentional about it!

Posted in Relationship.

Fortune Wobidi is a freelance/inspirational writer, Poet, Content editor, Guidance counselor, Motivational speaker, Online entrepreneur, and a Contemporary musician. He is the Founder and CEO of Royalmindsmith International, an Online body sold out to motivating and guiding youths in their quest to find self. He is of the belief that self discovery is a necessity for purpose realization and life fulfilment. He also believes that people shouldn't be written off without given the chance to prove their self worth. He is people oriented, adroit, goal driven and above all, an everyday learner....You could follow Fortune on Instagram @fortune_ozy

8 Comments

  1. Based on this part “If it’s too perfect, it’s not Love but an illusion! Pull the veil till it falls off! “. What if you keep pulling and it doesn’t fall off?? Some times when it is too perfect, it is real.

    • I get your point Dear, emphasis on “sometimes”. However, there’s no ” too perfect” love story so long as the both parties are human. Statistics show that it takes the minimum of 10 weeks to know if you’re truly in love. The phrase “too perfect” refers to “degree” or “Intensity”. 73% of cases that have been thought of as “true love” turned out to be “Infatuation” which eventually led to frustration.

      How to know it’s infatuation?

      *You’re so satisfied with everything the person does that you barely notice the flaws. (The fact that he/she has flaws, erases the word “too perfect”). Flaws must show up so there’ll be compromise and negotiations. If you never notice any flaw, it simply means the other party is using the masked motif technique. They wouldn’t just let it show for insecurity reasons which is a clear case of Infatuation!

      *You prioritize thinking of that fellow over other important things.

      *You have the “this is too good to be true” feeling in your head. Or the feeling that He/she is so perfect a human.
      *You get really jealous and protective when you notice another fellow coming into the scene! Love doesn’t feel that way, rather you feel relaxed and confident knowing that to an extent He/she sees you differently from others and there’s no room for contention.
      *You feel so insecure, you don’t want to lose such a “perfect being”. Etc.

      The only way you’ll know it’s true love is when the veil finally falls off and you see the imperfection in the other party and still choose to love him/her beyond those flaws. You can only know this if the initial hyped emotion has subsided and you begin to see the person like every other human. That’s the only way you can truly appreciate the love feeling!
      OK Dear Mindsmith,I hope this was helpful.
      I’ll stop here and talk more on this topic in subsequent posts. Thanks for sharing your opinion.

  2. Hmmm base on your reply to Sharon, I am more satisfied. Cos I wanted to ask same thing. What you said was all true expect God has a different plan for that relationship. Thanks Dearie it was inspiring. God bless you richly Dearie

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